"Oh. Hell."

Because that’s where Angel was. Again. Except the last time he’d been here… that was four? no, almost five years ago. He’d come with his own barbeque implements courtesy of the Slayer. And hadn’t that just been a fun trip.

Endless hours of … well, sheer hell. Not hours either. Days. Months. Years. Decades. Centuries. And for what? For him to be back in the same place? Was he the quintessential cosmic joke? Ladies and gentleman, in this corner, a vampire with a soul. When exactly had he gone from The vampire with a soul to a vampire with a soul?

Oh, he was still unique. Angel was a vampire with a soul with a homicidal son. That had to be another cosmic joke. He hesitated to call Connor a “son”. “Son” implied some bond that he was sure was no longer there. “Offspring”, as clinical as it sounded, didn’t hide the lack of emotional attachment that Connor was currently displaying towards him. A son did not build an iron coffin for his father and bury him in the ocean. A son did not sleep with…

Usually a son outgrew his childish need to please. But not Angel's son. His son, his son, had betrayed them. For what? The seductive words of Jasmine? False promises of love and happiness? What did Connor know about love or happiness? Connor was subsumed with a virulent hatred of his father. He wallowed in his misplaced affection for Cordelia. He clung to the remembered shreds of Holtz. Connor was a walking poster child for intensive psychotherapy, years on a couch with whomever was the flavour of the day. Angel's son was definitely touched, in the psychotic sense. Not that the father was any more well-adjusted.

Was Skip right? What had Angel and Darla created? Was Connor merely the vessel for Jasmine’s entry into this world? One day, Angel would like someone to explain Connor's very existence. And while explanations were being offered, could someone also please tell him how two vampires ended up with human offspring? Although right now Angel couldn't swear that humanity continued to exist in Connor's skin. Which didn’t explain or excuse why he had repeatedly hit his child. Angel hadn’t beat him to a bloody pulp. He hadn’t thrashed Connor to within an inch of his pitiful life. No, Angel merely pounded his son into oblivion and then tried to forget that he left him alive with that beautiful evil thing.

And here was another question. Who was Cordelia now? Once upon a time she’d been an annoying gnat that buzzed at the edges of his world. Over the years they'd traveled some nasty roads together... journeys that led to intense bonds born of proximity and adversity. And didn’t that sound like an advertisement for reality TV.

In the sewer tunnels Angel had told the others to forget about Cordelia. He already had. When he'd stood in that room and listened to his traitorous son announce their presence to Jasmine's minions, Angel had calculated how long it would take three people to get to his car. Angel had known that Connor would not be with them. Connor could not be trusted. Cordelia wasn't even considered.

And speaking of evil deeds for which there seemed to be no regret… Didn’t Wesley look incredibly at ease with his “I’ve kidnapped your son before” routine? Was Wes hoping that he'd feel less guilty the second time around? Or was that Wesley doing his sacrificial bit?

And the thought of sacrifice brought Angel back to the picture of his friends standing in a semi-circle to face Jasmine’s henchmen led by his son while the vampire disappeared into yet another portal. Lately his life seemed to be nothing but portals and evil.

At least he’d gone into this portal voluntarily. There was no heartbroken woman staring at him while tears streaked her face. There was no kiss to taunt him through years of torment. There was no one else to blame for being here. He had jumped into this portal on his own. Because, God knows, the first time had been so much fun.

These thoughts – Hell, familial relationships, Cordelia, Wesley, motivation – this torrent of thoughts cascaded blindly through Angel's mind in the microseconds between "Oh. Hell" and the enveloping mass of creatures who served Her first.

Because that’s where he was. Again.